13. Committees explained – continued

“Hold the phone a minute! The whole Noah’s Ark thing really happened? And it was because of someone forgetting to turn off a tap?”

“Yay-bob. It’s too true, I’m afraid. That one screw-up by Dickinson created a lot of extra work for a lot of Managers. Let’s just say he wasn’t popular at that year’s Christmas Party.”


There was a twinkle in the eye of the Lord of All. I think he was trolling me. “YE-ESS?”

I decided to ignore it. “So Lucifer is in charge of vegetation now?”

“Oh no, not anymore. It was taken over by a prickly bloke name Parsnip, who was then replaced by Horton. He’s still there. Parsnip was promoted to the Poisonous and Painful Plants department, when it was broken off from Natural Vegetation. That’s where Parsnip’s strengths were. When you really think about it, it doesn’t make sense to have the same Manager in charge of the creation of trilliums AND nettles.

“Of course they still have some joint projects once in a while. The dandelion was a great inter-departmental success.”

“Why’n hell do you want to create poisonous and painful plants?”

“You know, I can’t remember. It was originally Parsnip’s idea. I seem to remember it making perfect sense at the time.”

“Hmm. Back to Lucifer. After Natural Vegetation, where did he go?”

Adonai looked to the ceiling and closed his eyes, while rhyming off on his fingers, “Natural Aquatic Life; then Unnatural Aquatic Life; Clouds Shaped Like People; then Smiting and Salvation; Pretty Furry Animals; Unwanted Body Hair and finally to Human Resources. That’s where his natural disposition has truly shone through.”

Slowly, “So Lucifer is your Human Resources Manager?”


“Makes perfect sense.”