I was just starting to wake up when I heard the knock on my door. I held the side of my face on while I staggered to the door in my boxers.
And there was another clerical collar. “Fuck! Does everyone get past the security doors in this building?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Never mind. Please come in. Pardon me while I pour myself a large orange juice.”
Once I was seated at my kitchen counter and had downed half the juice, the penguin started to speak. “Paul, I’m the bishop for this diocese. I was distressed that you ignored my previous message.”
“Well, your holiness, I’m not Catholic. Your distress hardly distresses me at all.”
“It should. People in high offices are noticing your interviews, and they are unhappy. We demand that you involve the Church in these interviews.”
I looked at him through the splayed fingers on my right hand (still holding my face in place). He looked like he meant it. Why wouldn’t these people leave me alone?
“I’ll tell you what, my friend. Here’s the deal. I will ignore that demand, but you people should feel free to break into my building and knock on my door early in the morning. Please. Just do it any time you feel like making the exact same demand again.”
I made a mental note to ask Jeff if there is such a thing as Hell.