26. The miracles of Jesus

“So you’re saying all the Jesus miracles – ALL of them – are bullshit?”

“Well, the miracles, yep. Bullshit. But the boy knew how to work a crowd, and he had a few tricks up his sleeve. And the general message he preached was a good one. But yeah, a healthy dose of bullshit.”

“So then all Christianity is based on a lie by a frightened girl, and misconceptions that were promoted by her huckster son?”

The Supreme Being looked uncomfortable. “That’s a pretty broad stroke, friend, but I guess I would have to agree. Don’t get me wrong: Jesus may have been a bit of a con, but he did do some good work. He was getting people thinking about their lives – making them wonder if their life under the Romans was really that great. He was like an early Woody Guthrie! That’s why they wanted him dead.”

“Hmm. So, can I say that Jesus was no relation, but was basically a good shit with questionable methods?”

“See now, Paul, that’s why I need you here. Summed up beautifully.”

“Thanks, dude.”