55. The Prophet

The boys and I had just left the mall when some streetcorner religious nutter approached Brad with a pamphlet. I don’t stand for that shit. I generally think that if they believe they can save my soul, it IS nice of them to actually try.

But don’t be passing your bullshit off as truth to my kids. That just ain’t right!

“He will not be taking that.”

So then he figured he should try to give it to me. I said no thanks.

“Sir, I’m trying to save your soul.”

I was getting pissed. “I don’t believe in that.”

He was a persistent bugger. “Whether you believe doesn’t make something true or false.”

“You’re absolutely right.” And I walked away.

Richie picked up one of the pamphlets that someone else had dropped, and had a look while we were waiting for the bus. “Hey Dad. This talks about Jeff!”

“What?”

Richie passed it over. The pamphlet started off with this title: “The Gospel according to Paul the Blogger”. Fuck.

After that, it just referred to me as “The Prophet”, and referred to Jeff as “The Almighty Jehovah”. It even suggested that we should all listen to The Clash; at least it got something right.

I took the pamphlet back to the nutter. “Where did you get this?”

He looked a little worried. “I’m a devotee at The People’s Holy Church of the Gospel of the Bible – out on Highway 5. Pastor Bob met with The Prophet, and says this is The Way.”

“Fuck!”