64. Never again

Our burgers arrived as I finished telling Jeff about Ms. Young Lovely.

His mouth was wide open. “So she just kept sending texts, knowing that you wouldn’t be answering for a few hours?”


“And she had pretty much decided to break up with you – based on this conversation with herself – before you even had a chance to respond?”


He whistled. “Dude, you totally dodged a bullet with that one.”

I refilled my glass. “Amen, sister. The craziest of bullets. So if you ever hear me say, ‘I think I’ll reactivate my online dating profile’, you have my permission to shoot a lightning bolt at my arse.”

His eyes opened wide. “Oh, I would never do that to you, Paul. What’s the next step, then? How are you going to meet Ms. Right?”

“I will attach zero priority to that goal. I will coast through my life, just keeping my eyes open – in case I happen to trip over the perfect woman. And I don’t mean ‘perfect’. I mean perfect for ME.”

Jeff thought about that a moment. “That actually makes sense, you know. You just never know what the universe might provide.”

I pointed at him. “And no involvement from the likes of you! I’m totally happy to bide my time while leaving it to happenstance. Promise you’ll sit on your hands?”

Jeff looked solemn. “I promise. Now please pass the bottle.”