76. Me without kids

I have my kids every weekend, and I really love it. Since our marriage fell apart a year ago, there’ve been about three weekends that I haven’t had them. They’re on Spring Break right now, so my future ex took them to Disney. This was the second weekend in a row that I’d been alone.

When I’m alone on a weekend, I tend to revert to 23-year-old Pre-marriage Me. So I was up until about 3am, and then slept very late. I actually slept until my eyes SNAPPED open. Gotta admit, it felt kind of good to be well rested.

And then I was just lying in bed, working up the energy to rise. Eventually, the need to pee would make the decision for me.

Then I have an afternoon of practicing with my trio before our gig tonight.

I always tell people that the only time I feel sane is when I have my kids here, or when I’m playing music. Since I’m without one of those things, I’m glad I can immerse myself in the other.

The next best part of the day, as I was lying there planning it, was the lunch I had planned (breakfast would have been a couple hours earlier, when I was busily snoring). I’m not much of a cook, but I do love mixing my tastes to perfection. I had some hot Italian sausages left over from the night before, as well as a tin of baked beans in a maple syrup sauce, and planned to scramble some eggs as well.

To quote my friend, Jeff, “We will eat like kings!”

Shit. Have to wash dishes first: My frying pans are at the bottom of the sink. I really am a menace without my kids here.

I looked around my apartment, and yes, it was at least as bad as my last pre-marriage apartment used to be. So, what to do first? I had read that a lack of concern with personal hygiene was a sure sign of depression. I mean, I knew I had depression, but as long as I paid attention to hygiene, it meant it wasn’t too bad. Right? So we’ll start with a shower and shave, then?

Satisfied that I had proven my depression wasn’t SO rock bottom, I moved on to the dishes. Washed everything except for the utensils. Utensils are a pain in the nuts. I’ll wash them when the kids are here. I still had dessert forks and steak knives to help bridge that gap.

And the lunch truly was kingworthy. The scrambled eggs were a little too spicy (in a good way; I tend to do that), but the syrup in the beans mixed beautifully with the sausages. Not such a bad start to the day.