99. Politics and religion

“So Jeff, I’ve been wanting to ask you about something else.”

The Lord held out his hands. “Ask, and ye shall receive.”

“Um, what?”

“It’s from the bible, dumbass. The Book of Matthew, I believe.”

“Hm. And is that one of the parts that you ‘wrote’? Or was Matthew paraphrasing?”

God snorted. “Shit, dude. I’m no writer. Matthew pulled it out of his arse, for all I know.”

“Good to know. I’m just wondering how you feel about the separation of church and state.”

He leaned back on his couch. “Dude, I’m all for it. Your leaders should worry less about serving me, and more about serving the people who elected them.”

“Amen, sister. So you are in favour of an elected government? Or do you want to just appoint someone like you did in ye olden times?”

“Of course we should have elected officials, and for very limited terms. We need these arseholes to realize they’re expendable. Just like any other job, you may perform better if you know your arse could be on the line.”

“Hm. Could help. Do you think there will ever be an atheist in charge?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Dude! You’re thinking of running for office?”

“Oh hellz no! I’d just love to see someone in office who doesn’t have some faith-based belief in magic. I want someone who realizes this life is all we have, and so we need to fix our shit – instead of waiting for our ‘eternal reward’, or the Rapture, or some such shit.”

The Creator waved his hands around, until a dove flew out of his sleeve. “But magic is fun.”

“Cut that shit out. Don’t you think it would be better to have someone who sees the importance of this life?”

He considered this. “Well sure. That’d be great. That’s not going to happen anytime soon though. The right wing makes everyone’s candidacy about what church they belong to. I mean, Mitt Romney didn’t even have the decency to be ashamed of his batshit crazy Mormonism. Do I pick on the Mormons a little too much?”

“Pfft! Not nearly enough in my opinion.”

He smiled. “Oh good. I would really hate to be accused of being prejudiced against a bunch of crazy white folk. They’re just so sensitive!”

“Shall I assume sarcasm?”

“Please.”