104. One year

My call display said I was getting a call from 555-THE-LORD. I decided to pick up.

Before I could even say hello: “Paul! Do you know what date is approaching?”

“Canada Day? Independence Day? Some seemingly random holy day?”

“Dude! Really? The anniversary of our first interview!” It’s been a year since we started this thing.”

“A year, eh? It sure does fly past.”

Hesitation. “I can never tell when you’re being sarcastic. We need to develop hand signals.”

“Um … we’re on the phone.”

“What? Oh, right. Anyhow, we need to have cake. Cake is good for anniversaries, right? Chocolate is okay with you?”

He seemed so excited. I decided to stop being a prick about it. “Chocolate cake would be lovely, thank you.”

“Cool! And don’t worry, I’m a stickler for the cake-to-ice-cream ratio. I will make sure you don’t run out of ice cream before you finish your cake.”

“Wow! You are the Supreme Being.” Oops! Was going to NOT be sarcastic. “That sounds great. When should we celebrate?”

“Soon! I thought we could go to a picnic table at that park near your building, if that’s okay with you. Do you mind having a little goat piss with your cake and ice cream?”

“Sounds great. I’ll pick up some goat piss and meet you there.”

Jeff tittered. “This is so exciting!”