105. Goat piss

I ran down to my friendly neighbourhood liquor store, and straight to my usual section, to grab my usual cheap Merlot.

Holy shit! This had never happened before. They were out of my Merlot! I just stood there for a moment, contemplating this newest development in my life.

Before I knew it, a young guy was at my elbow. “Excuse me, sir. Can I help you?”

“Christ, I hope so.” I told him my usual brand name, and showed him the shelf where my Merlot was not.

He smiled. “We’re temporarily out of the Merlot, but we do have the Cabernet in your brand.”

I don’t like change. “Please tell me the difference between a Merlot and a Cab.”

“Well, a Cabernet usually has a more savoury flavour. In the more … um … expensive bottles, you can really taste the black currants. The Merlot is more of a dinner wine, while the Cabernet can stand alone.”

“Okay, dude. Here’s the thing: I am a wine buffoon, but love the stuff. If I happen to think that this brand of Merlot is fantastic stuff, will I like the Cab?”

The guy got a look on his face like he was smelling a bad fart. “Sir, if you think THAT Merlot is fantastic, then you won’t even notice a difference in the Cabernet. I’m sorry.”

I smiled. “Don’t be sorry, my friend. That is the best answer I could have hoped for!”

I grabbed a couple bottles and happily walked toward the checkouts.