108. Action

The Lord came back into the room. He was accompanied by a petite woman in a business suit. She looked very happy with herself.

He put one hand on her shoulder. “Paul, I’d like you to meet our newest manager, Fauna. She has just been put in charge of the new Department of Animal Attacks and Eyebrow Piercings. We’re very proud to have her on board.”

I shook her hand. “Fauna! Congratulations. Are you excited to start your new job?”

“I am, thank you. I think I can get those animal attacks happening much more efficiently. There has been no thought put into them at all up to this point. It’s like it was all decided by the wild animals themselves!”

“Well I look forward to seeing your work – not personally, of course!”

“Thank you. Well, I’d better go get started. Those grizzlies can’t be trusted to maul hikers on their own.”

She turned and left. Jeff sat back down on his couch. “Lucifer’s idea. Says she’s the best lightning-striker in the Department of Weather and Closet Lint. We need that kind of precision in our animal attacks.”

“I bet she’ll do a great job. You know that promoting one woman to management doesn’t let you off the hook, right?”

The Almighty nodded emphatically. “Yes, yes. Of course. Lucifer has committed a sub-committee in HR to make sure we eventually have more women in responsible positions.”

“Most excellent.”

“I told him that he has my full support, just as long as none of them are French Canadian.”

Fuck. This could turn into a long day.